When I begin helping a woman who is unsure regarding what’s happening in her marriage, I don’t necessarily tell her, “You’re being abused.” I may be able to recognize the patterns and have some confidence that her marriage is abusive, but I want to help her figure it out on her own.
You’re absolutely right about what happens to women who have their own thoughts and express their own feelings — as soon as I did that in my former church, I had a target on my back.
I have thought long and hard about how we ended up with this amount of disregard for the women who are our neighbors in the PCA, whom we are called to love as ourselves, esteem as better than ourselves. How can we rationalize our disinterest in seeking the health and fruitfulness of the woman beside us? It seems to me that we have come not only to rationalize but further the disregard you speak of. I would guess the women that you speak of cannot imagine a world where there voices truly matter. It is the *tradition* of Reformed Presbyterianism, the vista when we walk through the doors and the air that we breathe in the church. What is so utterly discouraging to me about the presence of prejudice against women in our circles, is that it is not in sync with the development of our Reformed faith as it has increasingly emphasized covenant, biblical-theological unfolding, consummation, and the eschatological state. We neglected to apply the unique gifts that the Spirit has given our corner of the church to anthropology. We merely continue forward with what we think we know and turn aside from the hurting.
I’m always carefully walking on eggshells with this one: how much do I express my true opinions in church? How “radical” (‘cause that’s how most folks even in our healthy and soft comp church would see it) can I be during small group discussion? I’m always keeping my real biblical and theological understanding reined in because I don’t like conflict and don’t want to rock the boat.
![Help[H]er Substack](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_36,h_36,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fec7fadee-aef6-4de3-9bf3-f8cedf5dfd37_1280x1280.png)
You’re absolutely right about what happens to women who have their own thoughts and express their own feelings — as soon as I did that in my former church, I had a target on my back.
I have thought long and hard about how we ended up with this amount of disregard for the women who are our neighbors in the PCA, whom we are called to love as ourselves, esteem as better than ourselves. How can we rationalize our disinterest in seeking the health and fruitfulness of the woman beside us? It seems to me that we have come not only to rationalize but further the disregard you speak of. I would guess the women that you speak of cannot imagine a world where there voices truly matter. It is the *tradition* of Reformed Presbyterianism, the vista when we walk through the doors and the air that we breathe in the church. What is so utterly discouraging to me about the presence of prejudice against women in our circles, is that it is not in sync with the development of our Reformed faith as it has increasingly emphasized covenant, biblical-theological unfolding, consummation, and the eschatological state. We neglected to apply the unique gifts that the Spirit has given our corner of the church to anthropology. We merely continue forward with what we think we know and turn aside from the hurting.
I’m always carefully walking on eggshells with this one: how much do I express my true opinions in church? How “radical” (‘cause that’s how most folks even in our healthy and soft comp church would see it) can I be during small group discussion? I’m always keeping my real biblical and theological understanding reined in because I don’t like conflict and don’t want to rock the boat.
that's really sad. I'm guessing you have a lot of wisdom to offer.
Thanks! I appreciate that. :-)