I Mean…

Patriarchy, Hierarchy, and Authoritarianism Isn’t Good for Men Either

Photo by GR Stocks on Unsplash

At Help[H]er we help women. However, sometimes resourcing and educating men is the most effective way to serve the women who seek help from our ministry. This article fits into that category.

I’ve been thinking about an upcoming event we’re hosting locally to introduce the ministry to those who may benefit from our services. I keep wondering why a man would want to attend a female specific gathering. Then, the voice of my friend (and fellow HH board member) came to my mind. “Ya know,” she said, in her very New Jersey way of saying things, “Men don’t benefit from patriarchy either.” I’ve heard her say that more than once and I know a couple of the ways she’s been thinking male rule negatively impacts not just the female gender. But suddenly it occurred to me how simple this should be for us to consider. Men don’t benefit from patriarchy. Men don’t benefit from patriarchy. Why? Because men don’t need what patriarchy provides.

When I say, “This isn’t rocket science,” this time it’s obvious. Let me explain.

Typically, I’ll be the first person to rail against a plain, literal interpretation of the word. All too often, neglecting to find out what the entirety of Scripture has to say about a particular topic gets humanity into a whole heap o trouble. As it relates to complementarianism, literal interpretation is literally the problem. It’s a problem, because proponents actually engage in a good bit of gymnastics—somersaults, flips, back bends, and pirouettes—in order to fit God’s words around their already determined conclusions, and then tell us those conclusions are “plainly” discerned. The resulting impact of such a claim is that the average person in the pew can’t plainly see such teachings, and so they end up dependent on the so-called theological experts to do their interpretive work. I advise using great caution developing a single word or passage into an entire doctrine.

However, in the case of Genesis 2:18, the meaning is fairly easy to see.

We serve a Creator who knows us intimately (Psa. 139). Of course, His needlework determines our inner and outer being. So, He is the authority for what man (and [wo]man) need. In the Genesis 2 passage, God, having repeatedly told us what was good during the creation process, then shifts to what isn’t good; what’s not good about His new creation. God tells us there is a gap in man. What does He say is missing?

A like companion. Adam was alone. Aloneness was the liability. Adam existing as the only creature of his kind was, evidently, a fairly big problem, one large enough to be considered “NOT good."

But alone in what? When God sent Adam to name the animals what was He intending he see was missing? Up until this point, and in the couple verses that proceed the creation of Eve, the following would be what Adam was created to do, and, without a woman, he would have to do it all alone.¹

Produce fruit (physical and spiritual)

Populate the world (physical and spiritual offspring)

Rule

Lead

Eat

Share dominion

Enjoy God

Fellowship

Help with naming

Walk through life with

Help care for the earth

Help care for the animals and inhabitants

Inherit the earth

Intimacy

Communication

Physical connection

Know someone like him

Bear God’s image equally with

Leave his home for

Leave his family for

Love

Yet, patriarchy, hierarchy, and authoritarianism all suggest Adam’s need was something completely different. Those who interpret Genesis to say Adam’s need is patriarchy, hierarchy, and authoritarianism suggest he needed someone who would fulfill particular roles.² For instance, Adam,

Needs a follower³

Needs someone he can make decisions for⁴

Needs someone he can teach⁵

Needs someone to rule over⁶

Needs a servant for his home⁷

Needs someone he’s smarter than⁸

Needs someone to protect from being deceived⁹

Needs someone who respects his role¹⁰

Needs someone who would bolster his ego¹¹

Needs someone who is available for sex¹²

If you’re trekking with me still, none of the above are ever mentioned in the Holy Writ as the things Adam lacked, nor that he needed. And, if that’s what the female gender is helping him with, he’s not actually getting what he does need. What might that be?

To have someone to produce fruit with (physical and spiritual)

To have someone to dine with

To have someone to populate the world with (physical and spiritual offspring)

To have someone to rule with

To have someone to lead with

To have someone to share dominion with

To have someone to inherit the earth with

To have someone to enjoy God with

To have someone to fellowship with

To have someone who will help with naming

To have someone to walk through life with

To have someone to help care for the earth

To have someone to help care for the animals and inhabitants

To have someone to share intimacy with

To have someone to talk to

To have someone to have physical connection with

To have someone who is like him, but unique

To have a relationship with someone else in this world who bears God’s image equally

To have someone to leave his home for

To have someone to leave his family for

To have someone to love

Patriarchy, hierarchy, and authoritarianism can’t be “good” for men because the inherent needs of patriarchy, hierarchy, and authoritarianism are not what man’s Creator said he lacked. And if we, as helpers, are providing the men in our lives with needs essential to patriarchy, hierarchy, and authoritarianism, we are not actually helping.

Think about it.

1. Of course, Adam had God. For whatever reason The Creator still said it wasn’t good he was ALONE.

2. “When the Bible teaches that men and women fulfill different roles in relation to each other, charging man with a unique leadership role, it bases this differentiation not on temporary cultural norms but on permanent facts of creation.” Piper, Grudem, RBMW, 40. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1bT0H_j0qyuiUXIoJJ62s2SAMhzT9vcPG?usp=drive_link

3. “At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women … At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men …” John Piper, RBMW p. 28.

4. “In the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction.” Ray Ortlund, RBMW p. 169.

5. “We think 1 Timothy 2:8-15 imposes two restrictions on the ministry of women: they are not to teach Christian doctrine to men and they are not to exercise authority directly over men in the church.” Douglas Moo, RBMW, p. 177.

6. “Women are not to teach or to have authority over men. They are not to do so because of the order in which God created man and woman and because of how man and woman fell into sin.” Ibid, 176.

7. “The way in which each was created suggests the special work they will do in the wider world—the man in the establishment of the external world of industry, and the woman in the nurture of the inner world of the family that will come from her as helpmate.” Kevin DeYoung, Men and Women in the Church, A Short Biblical Introduction (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 2021), 29. Kevin DeYoung, referring to Genesis 2. “Eve’s capacities, DeYoung argues, made her fit for helping Adam, especially by helping him to create a hospitable home in which they could both fulfill God’s mandate to ‘be fruitful and multiply.” https://www.thebanner.org/mixed-media/2021/08/men-and-women-in-the-church-a-short-biblical-practical-introduction?

8. “If Eve’s deception speaks to the nature of women, then Paul forbids teaching or authority because women—who outshine men in other areas—are, on the whole, more likely to acquiesce to doctrinal deviation,” Kevin DeYoung, Men and Women in the Church, A Short Biblical Introduction (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 2021), 85.

9. Ibid.

10. “The only subordination of which we can speak, is a subordination in respect to order and relationship.” Louis Berkhof, Systematic Theology (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1941), p. 88.

11. “The male ego is surprisingly fragile, especially during times of failure and embarrassment. It’s one of the reasons why a husband desperately needs his wife’s support and respect.”Jame Dobson https://www.oneplace.com/ministries/family-talk/devotions-for-married-couples-by-dr-james-dobson/dr-dobsons-married-couples-devotional-may-8-11659643.html. Dobson isn’t widely known as a complementarian; however, his comments are lock step with RBMW and RBMW uses James Dobson to validate their ideas. https://cbmw.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/2018-Viewbook.pdf?, p. 11.

12. Do Piper and Grudem talk about sex as a duty or responsibility? “[Paul] says, “Do not deprive each other.” In other words, when it lies within your power to meet your spouse’s needs, do it.” Piper, Grudem, RBMW, 109.